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Family Rules: Get a Little Respect

Filed under : Parenting, Relationships

By: Staff Report

Young Urban Moms need to be firm with other family members when it comes to their rules for child-rearing

People have many ideas and opinions about child-rearing, so it may be a little difficult to get all your relatives to respect your family rules.

Because child-rearing theories have changed dramatically over the years, you may experience a slight generation gap with some family members. Grandparents, for example, are notoriously overindulgent with their grandchildren and often think of the parent as still a child. So how do you get relatives to respect your rules?

Explain Your Rules. Let them know why you have your rules and why they’re important to you. It’s a courtesy you don’t owe anyone, but it will help your family understand why a rule or request is significant to you.

Respect and Get Respect. If tempers flare, you can gently remind Aunt Sara, Cousin Sally or Uncle Tom that when you are in their home you respect their rules. You’re only asking for the same consideration. Remind them that you don’t agree with all their rules, but you still conform to their wishes.

Be Consistent. If you allow a rule to be broken, family members might think you have changed your mind on this rule. Let them know why you are relenting to the change: “Tyler got an A in Spelling, so I’ve allowed him an extra treat today.”

Also, remember to be brave. Once you put your foot down and you stand firm on what you expect, you relatives will be more likely to respect your rules, whether they agree with them or not.

Choose Your Rules Carefully. A lot of family conflict can be avoided if parents think long and hard before they institute a rigid rule. Only rules that protect your child’s health and safety have to be 100% rigid. With fewer rules, your relatives will understand that when you say “no bottle in the crib,” you really mean it.

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