By: Staff Report
Protecting our children is what we – as parents – should be doing best. We want to make sure they’re childhood is free of any pain, fear or harm. It’s the reason why we go to great lengths to enroll them in the best schools, programs and activities. We want the best of this and that and that, and all to make sure they’re better off than us.
But what if study shows that going through a little hardship isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, a little suffering might actually make them a better person. This isn’t to say that parents should purposely seek out ways to harm their families, but that there’s always a silver lining somewhere – always.
Dr. Mark Seery, from the Department of Psychology at the University at Buffalo, is one of the authors of the study, “Whatever Does Not Kill Us: Cumulative Lifetime Adversity, Vulnerability and Resilience,” and he shared with YUM a few great tips on how to cope with the bad side of parenting.
YUM: What were some of the negative experiences that the people – with the best outcomes – described?
Dr. Seery: We counted the total number of instances across all events that people had experienced. The key finding was not that certain types of events were necessarily associated with doing better or worse over time, but instead that total number of events mattered. People with a history of some events – not none, but not a high number, either – tended to be the best off.
Here is the complete list of events that we assessed: