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How can step-parents really connect with their child?

By: Carolina Pichardo

Get parenting advice and learn from step-parents and Young Urban Moms

We’re told that we have it as soon as we become moms. Although at first we doubt it, it’s there when we need it the most. It helps us navigate the mystifying terrain of parenting.

This young moms, is what we call – instincts.

The other day I was talking to a friend. She has a young step-daughter that she’s been raising and caring for since she was young. She loves the little girl. Proudly taking her to ballet, tutoring her in school and going above-and-beyond to make sure she feels safe.

Yet, she often feels that something is missing. She insists that this something isn’t allowing her to connect with the child.

Recently, she was telling me about how her daughter stole money from a friend. After finding the money inside her jean pocket, she questioned her daughter, who insisted that she was innocent.  “She lied to me,” she later told me. “It was the way she just lied,” she said. “That’s what hurt me the most.”

Her daughter later on admitted to stealing the money, but this raised a lot of questions for my friend – why couldn’t she sense what was going on with her step-daughter? Did not understanding this make her a bad mother?

It’s simple for me – as a mother – to insist that there must be something there. Maybe it was because she wasn’t her real mother.

But what does real have to do with having the instincts and connection to a child?

This week we’ll dissect the idea of step-parenting and issues that this might bring in a child. We’ll learn from step-parents and how they care for their families.

Young Urban Moms’ co-founder, Carolina Pichardo, is a digital marketer by day, writer and community activist by night, and mom to Lulu always. You can reach her at or on Twitter @c_pichardo.

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